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Entry #3

I'm a tad drunk

2015-05-05 00:14:47 by JojoDodo

I guess I'm writing this as a therapeutic measure, uhhmm...to get things out of my chest, i guess. I've found that writing things down (even if its just a diary) help a lot to put things in perspective.

Anyway....thing is, I was worried about going for art school, not because of the course of studies itself or even job prospect matters...I was troubled aobut having to face constans social interaction in a daily basis; I know that most people take this things for granted, but social interaction is still a big deal for me. To put things in perspective...today at school one of the teachers failed to attend to classes and we had a couple of hours to fuck around, and I've been chatting with lots of folks, here and there, and was able to actually don't let anxiety get the best of me...I'm aware that this sounds like a run of the mill day for most people, well....it is not for me. It's been ages since i could feel confortable while sorounded by people I barely know.

Funny thing about depression...given some time, it becomes a part of your everyday life...it becomes, uhmmm, normal, in such a way that you don't perceive it as depression. I'm just becoming aware of how "not-miserable" i feel most of the time. I look back to when i was in college studying english, and i realized how fucked up, how sad, I used to be; spending most of the time in isolation, suffering from panic attacks, and so on and so forth. Ironic as it may sound, it gave me the tools to communicate with you, english-speaker folks ^^.

It sounds kind of cheesy, but NG folks have been a lot of help...I've been trying to find words to express how much I appreciate your kind words, feedback  and help, but I'm kinda drunk right now. Sooo...thanks.

 


Comments

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saucybirdsaucybird

2015-05-05 01:15:36

hehe drunk/high posts ftw

hey that's awesome you're taking art classes! if i wasn't going for audio engineering, i'd be taking the same exact route as you, so cheer to you! also i'm sorry about your depression and sadness and such, it's a bitch to deal with a lot of times (wow im great at grammar), but it is one of those things that gets easier ^^

and also i'm another person you can go to for help and such! say the word and i'll be at your side yo

JojoDodo responds:

Oh, it is a bitch, indeed. Also, drunk posts are the best (I say this while starting my 3rd litre of beer :P. You're right about that, it does get easier...but, it's very difficult to start dealing with it. thanks for your kind words, mate. I know nothing about you, and you know nothing about me...but emotions are as human as it gets and I'm drunk, haha.


FantastickFantastick

2015-05-05 01:18:45

CONNECT WITH YOUR PEERS,
THEN EAT THEIR SOULS
EAT THEM GOOD.

DON'T MISS A SPOT.

JojoDodo responds:

YES, MASTER..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................?


FantastickFantastick

2015-05-05 04:19:05

I'M GLAD WE HAD THIS TALK, SON.


PencilPartyPencilParty

2015-05-05 13:42:01

It's alot more common that you would think to have social anxiety especially in Art related courses.

I've suffered from serious depression myself in the past and it's clear to me atleast that depression will never really leave you alone, sure it may become more tolerable but everyone has their down days or awkward unexplained gloom.

Until I joined my current college (3 years attending) I had low attendance and would avoid every little social interaction possible, now after being thrown into a group of people that have similar interests (art) I have really came out of my shell and have even been called "Charismatic" which I would never see myself as.

Something that I kept telling myself (and keep telling myself to today) is that "I'm not the first person in the world to be like this" there will always be countless amounts of people that have been in your exact same situation, and this can apply to almost anything, but knowing that in the past or present there has been someone else feeling exactly as I have,with the same worries, thoughts and feelings helps me to push forward with whatever I am struggling with.

In simpler words, Someone else has been there, done that and pushed past it so why shouldn't I.
Maybe this is just my way of thinking but honestly you're an amazingly talented artist and deserve to get the support in developing your skills, if this means joining a course that may require teamwork or interactions with others then just "bite the bullet" and go for it.

JojoDodo responds:

yeah, i know...I'm just happy i'm leaving that behind ^^


radiodarkradiodark

2015-05-05 15:11:06

<3 <3 <3

JojoDodo responds:

:D :D :D


linda-motalinda-mota

2015-05-28 01:05:28

Art school seems to be different for everyone. In my case as I've gotten better, people started talking to me less and i've had work destroyed (or rips). For me getting used to being alone in the studio save for a few nice people was cool. I like being alone so that transition wasn't a big deal. For you try to talk and avoid opaqueness. Being open faced is great and saves a lot of trouble than putting on a "mask:" to socialize.

JojoDodo responds:

Well, i like being alone too much :3. But yeah, i try to keep in touch with people and generally being myself. Thanks :)